Recovering from last night. Not because I got drunk — because I didn’t — but because events conspired to spin out of control resulting in my arriving home early this AM covered in someone else’s blood.
We had just called Last Call at the club and I was coming downstairs from the office and following two of my security people who were escorting a drunk and obstreperous customer down the stairs and to the exits.
Next thing I knew the customer starts swinging and all three of them, my security people and the fool of a customer, go tumbling all the way down the stairs.
At the bottom of the stairs — and after a short, sharp, fistfight — my security guys and I got the guy somewhat restrained and headed for the exit when, for no reason other than that he may have been jealous of my good looks, he clocks me upside my head.
An affront to my person to which I did not respond.
Then he clocked me again.
To which I did respond.
As did my security team. And with extreme prejudice.
You can draw your own conclusions about what extreme prejudice means.
Then, once we got this clown out of the club and on the street, and while trying to keep him restrained in front of the club and whilst awaiting the arrival of the local Five-O — his nitwit girlfriend decided SHE wanted to assault my security people.
And when I stepped in to restrain her — SHE went upside my head.
The last time I saw either of them was when they were both being handcuffed and loaded into the back of an SPD prowler.
Oh, and while the arrests were taking place some fucking fool was ODing on GHB not twenty feet away.
Me and one of my other security guys ended up holding the ODer up between us while we monitored his heart and breathing until the EMTs could get to him, since he was basically close to cardiac failure.
This while I’m dripping the blood I mentioned at the beginning of this post. Blood from the fool being arrested not twenty feet away and who had apparently decided at some point during his evening’s revels that it was perfectly acceptable to assault two of my security people and moi.
All in all just another night in the life of a nightclub.
Oh, and as my security mama Angelique wrote to me via Facebook after the incident in a message checking up on me to make sure I was OK,
“I’m gonna just let you know this ahead of time. IF I EVER in life see a woman put her hands on you I will stomp that heffas jaw on a curb. And you’re just gonna have to be upset with me. There are only a select few I will try to kill people over and you are in that category.”
To say that Angelique is ‘a strong black woman’ would be an understatement of biblical proportions.
I luvz my people!