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Archive for the 'Assholes' Category


{Posted in Assholes, General Fucked-Up-Edness, My Life on September 3rd, 2013 by Scott }

Ya gotta love Time Warner Cable. And when I say “love” what I really mean is hate.

Their online user interface is totally user unfriendly and basically useless. Even though you’re securely signed in to your account you can’t simply click an icon and add premium services (except HBO!) without going through their chat service — for which you have to wait and wait until an “analyst” is free to chat.

Then, when you tell the “analyst” that you want to add Showtime and Starz to BOTH your tee vee machines you need to give him the serial numbers of both your cable boxes (something that he should already have since they’re in your account profile) and then, after being thanked repeatedly for your patience he still doesn’t get you subscribed properly.

So now, instead of Showtime and Starz being added to BOTH my tee vee machines I’ve got Starz on just one and no Showtime on either.

This is but one of many reasons why people hate TWC as much as they hate Al-Qaeda and the U.S. Congress.


{Posted in Assholes on June 19th, 2013 by Scott }

Soooooo I’ve recently been in the throes of selling shit on Craigslist, as I may have mentioned, and its really quite addictive.

However, one tends to meet some very interesting people via this medium and some of them are just plain fucking weird.

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I posted an advert to sell some vintage stereo gear that I have — stuff that I quite literally have not had hooked up in probably 8 years or more and which I indicated in my advert — and I had a somewhat lengthy exchange this morning with a prospective buyer interested in the stuff and for which I was asking $350.00.

Him: Does the equipment work?

Me: It did 8 or 9 years ago when I last had it hooked up.

Him: But does it work?

Me:  See my last email.

Him:  Can you hook it up for me so I can see if it works?

Me:  Look, the speakers alone are worth more than twice what I’m asking for everything and I know they work — so you’re getting the other stuff basically for free and for me to hook it up for you to take a test drive on it is more trouble for me than its worth.

Him:  OK, cool.  Will you take $25 for everything.

Me: $25 or $250?

Him: $25

Me: Sure thing. That sounds reasonable. Lemme give you my address so you can come pick it up — It’s 301 Fuck You Lane.

Him: Is that in Seattle or on the Eastside?


{Posted in America, Assholes, Politics, The Republican Clown Car on May 29th, 2013 by Scott }



{Posted in Assholes, Bill on April 12th, 2013 by Scott }


BIE Bill is trying to finally achieve a modicum of home-like stability in his life and, accordingly, he’s set up an Amazon.com wish list of shit that he needs for his new apartment.

If you’ve been enjoying Bill in Exile then you should know that the only reason this blog exists is because of BIE Bill.  I started it as a means of distracting him from his thoughts of suicide right after he was initially incarcerated in federal prison — and so any joy or mild entertainment garnered from what I’ve written, or any masturbatory assistance you may have realized from images posted here, has been largely because of BIE Bill.

So if you’ve got a few extra shekels lying around I’d urge you to hit his wish list and buy him some of the things he needs for his new home.

Plus, if you do, then I won’t have to.


Bill is a fucking idiot and didn’t know he was supposed to include his mailing address on his wish list when he set it up. I’m guessing he just figured you’d all be able to simply magic the stuff to him.

Soooooo, give him a little time to figure out how to add his mailing address and then you should be able to buy him shit.



{Posted in America, Assholes, Quote of the Day, The War on March 4th, 2013 by Scott }

“Watching this Iraq story unfold, all I can say is this: If this were not about my own country, my own kids and my own planet, I’d pop some popcorn, pull up a chair and pay good money just to see how this drama unfolds.”

Tom “The Mustache of Understanding” Friedman, writing in the NY Times on March 2nd, 2003 about the run-up to the invasion of Iraq.

Never forget what these vile, immoral monsters like Friedman once said as they enabled and fluffed the invasion from their safe sinecures — and that they’ve paid absolutely no price whatsoever for their depraved complicity in the crime against humanity that was the Iraq War.

Suck on that!



{Posted in America, Assholes on February 17th, 2013 by Scott }

Here’s an incredible exchange that took place on Fox’s The Five between Fox News contributor Bob Beckel and Fox ambush specialist Jesse Watters.

Watters takes exception to the characterization of what happened to the Native American people of this continent as “extermination.”

Revel in the stoopid of Mr. Watters, if you will.

BECKEL: That’s right, this is way out of their area of expertise, but I will say this again, the English, the Europeans came over and threw the Indians off their land, exterminated them, threw them into reservations…

WATTERS: Exterminated!! (crosstalk) So let me get this straight Bob. America’s Founding Fathers, they came over here, colonized America and made it the great land that we are today. You’re saying they exterminated a whole race of people?

BECKEL: I see you must have been educated in Chicago…

WATTERS: You don’t really believe that, do you?

BECKEL: … because the Founding Fathers came here a hundred years after the Pilgrims came here.

WATTERS: The colonists, Bob and all the principles that came over on the Mayflower… freedom…

BECKEL: What do you think they did with the Indians? What do you think they did with them?

WATTERS: What do you think they did with who?

BECKEL: Those Indians that occupied that land.

WATTERS: They ate corn and they had Thanksgiving.

BECKEL: Oh, I see. They all did that. I guess they had turkey, a little stuffing…

WATTERS: And they dressed (inaudible) and they wrapped themselves around blankets. Yeah. And they sang kumbaya.

{via C&L}


I think that for anyone with an education beyond the third grade it is pretty well established fact that the European immigrants who came over in the 16th, 17th, and 18th centuries made a pretty good job of intentionally exterminating as many Native Americans as possible.

Followed up of course by the United States Cavalry and their largely successful attempt at finishing the job off during the 19th century.

As the title of the post says — “It is known.”


The Massacre at Wounded Knee — December 29th, 1890. 

The Oglala Lakota Sioux were attempting to turn in their rifles to the U.S. Army after willingly agreeing to disarm when the army opened fire on them, killing 300 men, women and children.


{Posted in America, Assholes, Funny Shit, Humor, Jon Stewart, Quote of the Day, The Republican Clown Car on February 14th, 2013 by Scott }

“Every time Dick Cheney laughs an angel gets stabbed in the dick.”