PORN
Slamming Pig Daddy gives you a taste of what demon possession looks like.
I particularly like the part where after Pig Daddy slams him a big old syringe full of Tina, booting it and re-booting it for full effect, he reaches for the snake bites and settles in for a nice long {limp dick} multi-hour jack session.
And the musical accompaniment and the fully loaded and ready to go syringe behind his ear are fucking brilliant!
I can’t begin to count the number of times in the past that I found myself in EXACTLY the same place as Pig Daddy: high out of my mind and blissfully alone with a huge amount of methamphetamine, several pre-loaded spikes, unlimited free time on my hands and an overwhelming desire to abuse my cock until it bleeds.
Good fucking times!
Whenever I see someone slamming meth like this I get a tingle in my nether regions and can actually smell the smell of rubbing alcohol used to sterilize the injection site and taste the taste of crystal meth that fills the back of your throat and mouth after a particularly large slam.
And that’s almost seven years after my last go round with Miss Tina and the needle.
And if it sounds like I miss it . . . I don’t. OK, maybe just a little.
But as the Unknown Brother-in-Law observed when we were discussing injection drug use recently,
“It’s like in the movie Trainspotting; it seems like it’s all good fun — until the baby dies.”
October 30th, 2009 at 8:27 am
Scott I have to ask…deep down in you psychologically what was the T replacing in your life that you felt was missing? I think I can say for many of your readers we find you to be a witty, sweet, smart and a man full of common sense…kind of hard to wrap our hands around the idea you went through a period in your life of serious drug abuse.
October 30th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Gregorio — sometimes people do things just because they’re really fun to do.
October 30th, 2009 at 9:35 am
I agree with Scott…the only reason me and the bf left the party life behind (more or less) is we got tired of hanging out with sketchy people.
October 30th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Yeah…really sexy.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Watching that video fills me with an overwhelming sadness. There’s nothing fun about watching someone hurt himself.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
This is the most horrifying thing that has ever been posted on this blog.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Really Toddy? I posted some pretty horrifying shit back when the blog first started. That stuff back then didn’t have pictures or video though so maybe this makes it a bit more “real”.
Yeah, it is pretty raw. But then, life is pretty raw and horrifying too, isn’t it?
October 30th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Tom, nobody said that watching this was supposed to be fun. It simply is what it is.
What I said in my response to Gregorio’s question about what is missing in a persons life that they feel the need to use drugs was simply that some people don’t do it to replace something they’re missing — they simply do it because its fun.
People don’t ride roller coasters or jump out of perfectly good airplanes or build model boats in bottles because they’re necessarily missing something intrinsic in their lives; they do it most often because they like to and because they derive enjoyment from it.
And frequently people who use recreational drugs do that for the very same reason and nothing more.
And frequently people use drugs to escape and because they do have something missing in their lives because that’s what doing drugs allows you to do if you need them to do that. And so does jumping out of planes.
And is doing drugs potentially self destructive behavior? You betcha! But so is jumping out of fucking plane at 10,000 feet. And yet people don’t immediately jump to the conclusion that a practitioner of parachuting is “sad” or “missing something” from his life because of his desire to do what he likes to do even though doing that thing could very well lead to his death.
Now why do you think that is? Why do you think there is such approbation from society directed at the recreational drug user (and I’m not talking about someone who lives in the street and steals to supply a habit but someone like Pig Daddy with the means to own a computer and make videos of himself having a good time in which he isn’t hurting anyone except maybe himself — why is there so much contempt and condemnation, and frankly, condescension from people like you, for their “sad” state but a practice like competitive parachuting, a practice that can most assuredly lead to one’s demise with the exact same ramifications for family, friends and society as it would if Pig Daddy here were to OD — well that person is simply practicing his hobby while a person like Pig Daddy, doing what he enjoys in the privacy of his home becomes the recipient of your scorn and derision and, worse, your pity.
Before you guys condemn Pig Daddy for what he’s “missing” in his life I’d recall if you will the words from Luke 4:23 — “Physician, heal thyself” — and take a good hard look at what you may be missing in yours first.
October 30th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Do you know where I can find the full length video?
October 30th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
i had a pretty good feeling, when you answered gregorio’s question, that we would be hearing more from you about this…
years ago, i too, was a pretty heavy drug user– shooting up speedballs, smoking crack & opium, etc– and while i admit that at times, i was escaping a lot of pain in my life, it WAS AND IS, my life and no one else’s damn business. but additionally, there were many, many times, it was fun and i did it simply because it felt so good. i was enjoying being with friends and sometimes, i suppose, it felt like escaping from all the bad news that nixon et al seemed to be spewing all day and night, every damn day.
probably the only reason i stopped was that i was getting tired of it taking so long to feel okay the next day, and it’s the same reason i hardly ever get drunk anymore. just too old! however, there are many days, still, when i wish i had a pile of good shit to plunge.
i suppose some of us were “lucky” and were able to keep the majority of our lives in order
despite the ingesting of huge quantities of drugs. for those who couldn’t, i guess they shouldn’t.
very interesting post, scott. thanks.
October 30th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
this is a perfect exaple of why i love this blog so much. you’ve posted an incredibly “out there” video of a guy shooting up meth and jerking off under the heading “porn” and in the comments section of the same post you slap around your readers and quote chapter and verse to them from the gospel of luke. stuff like this is why i come back here day after day. thanks scott.
October 30th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Been there, done that. Did it for a few years actually. I (like Scott it seems) managed a “normal” (whatever the fuck that means) lifestyle outside the crazed world that is crystal meth usage. Do I have regrets? Occasionally. I at times lied to friends and family about my whereabouts, skipped out on family functions etc. Financially it became a bit overwhelming which is partly the reason I stopped. The other is that it just wasn’t as fun as it used to be. I haven’t used in a few years, though video’s like this certainly do cause me a tingle in my nether regions and increased heart rate.
For those of you wondering, when I chose to stop I simply did. The first few days were a little rough but by day 5 I was good to go… as opposed to the utter hell I went through when I quit smoking.
October 30th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Sorry John I don’t. Its a self-made video and may not even be an excerpt but could, possibly, be the full length version at just under two minutes.
This guy self-posted it on a bareback video site and its the only one by him on the site as far as I can tell.
October 30th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
It’s also all fun and games until you start hurting people other than yourself.
October 31st, 2009 at 4:58 am
Scott – I liked your response to Gregorio, “sometimes people do things just because they’re really fun to do”. And your analogy to sky diving is quiet well thought out as well.
Still, that video, for my taste was just a little creepy but fascinating at the same time.
October 31st, 2009 at 5:11 am
Uh, Frank? I kinda think that’s what that quote from my brother-in-law is supposed to mean.
October 31st, 2009 at 9:51 am
Scott!
Equating using crystal meth with building model boats, riding roller coasters or parachuting from a plane is a ridiculous oversimplification and borders on just plain stupid, which is a little surprising coming from you.
And just because you say that people use crystal meth because “it’s fun” doesn’t mean that it’s true. It means that you are lying to people, and more importantly, to yourself. Labeling drug addiction as “recreational” doesn’t make it so, nor does it make it any less tragic, not to mention deadly. There is nothing inherently self-destructive about jumping out of an airplane, unless of course the landing goes horribly wrong. With addiction, the ending will go horribly wrong, guaranteed. With crystal meth, the collateral damage is particularly horrific, and the road to the end is littered with broken promises, ruined relationships and abused and neglected children. Not to mention the careless and escalating spread of HIV. To say otherwise is another lie and a horrible disservice to gay men.
You’ve made another oversimplified leap that Pig Daddy, by virtue of the fact that he seems to currently have a roof over his head and access to a PC and a cheap webcam, is obviously (by your definition) not an addict. You can live in a filthy little apartment and make scary and sad videos for many, many years before your addiction sends you out on the street. That’s if you live that long. And many crystal meth (as well as GHB and prescription drug) addicts are found dead in their nice warm beds. I assume you know this and have made another conscious decision to lie, to yourself and your readers, about the reality of addiction.
Drug use and addiction is not a “hobby”. Knitting is a hobby. Labeling someone that is so deeply entrenched and buried in his own addiction that he posts a video shooting up with another needle tucked and ready to go behind his ear, equating getting high on meth with becoming “one with the gods” as a “recreational user” is a baseless and dangerous fabrication. And I stand by the statement that watching this video fills me with sadness and pity.
However, I save my scorn and derision for you.
And while I’m at it, may I submit that your continued references to your use and abuse of crystal meth, your obvious longing to revisit, even vicariously, your past experiences with it, as well as your continued insistence on advocating and defending the drug addiction of other gay men, suggests to anyone with a background in this subject that while your personal addiction may be currently “under control” it is by no means out of the picture, nor in any way shape or form “handled”.
Your words:
“Whenever I see someone slamming meth like this I get a tingle in my nether regions and can actually smell the smell of rubbing alcohol used to sterilize the injection site and taste the taste of crystal meth that fills the back of your throat and mouth after a particularly large slam.
And that’s almost seven years after my last go round with Miss Tina and the needle.
And if it sounds like I miss it . . . I don’t. OK, maybe just a little.”
If anyone needs to take a good long look at the truth, it is you Sir.
October 31st, 2009 at 10:23 am
Except Tommy that you clearly don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. I’ll address only one of your stupid and oversimplified –and quite frankly ignorant statements and then I’ll leave it at that because I don’t have the time or inclination to address the rest of the idiocy that you’re spouting.
Here goes : “With addiction, the ending will go horribly wrong, guaranteed.” Your words Tom.
I assume you will include me in your definition of an addict because I used injection drugs. But the end result was that I simply stopped using them and never bothered to again. Nothing went wrong. “Guaranteed”. I used the drugs. I enjoyed the drugs. And I stopped using the drugs. End of story, and yet your conflating addiction with use indicates that you are completely unaware that there is actually a difference — a difference acknowledged by the medical community and by addiction counselors.
And to say that my posting about drug use is irresponsible or “lies” just indicates to me that you’re one of those people who fucking wets himself every time someone suggests something “bad” in life or portrays something to you that you find personally uncomfortable for fear that you might all of a sudden prove too weak willed to stand up to your own fucked up desires {or addictions} whatever they might be.
Lemme guess, Tommy, you’re in recovery and an active member of either AA, NA or both am I right? Oh, and you also possess ZERO professional credentials when it comes to drug and alcohol treatment. All you know about it is what you learned at the meetings that you attend and what your sponsor told you or what you’ve convinced yourself must be the fact besed upon your own skewed and lets be honest here, fucked up addicts perspective.
So really now, at the end of the day, here you are spouting off about stuff you don’t know the first fucking thing about other than perhaps how you probably fucked up your own life with those things and how that experience has colored your opinions and convinced you that everyone else in the world must be exactly like you — because to admit otherwise would be too much for you to handle given that misery truly does love company.
But Tommy, not everybody is like you. Not everybody fucks up their lives with recreational drug use. There’s at least one other commenter in this thread alone who simply walked away because it got boring as I did.
Oh and Tom please don’t you fucking dare try to pull the cheap rhetorical stunt of attempting to inject words into this debate that you ascribe to me when I’ve never said nor implied anything like them — specifically “Not to mention the careless and escalating spread of HIV. To say otherwise is another lie and a horrible disservice to gay men.”
We can have a healthy debate here Tom but when you pull cheap shit like this all it tells me is that you A} don’t have the courage of your convictions to use the words that I’ve ACTUALLY written to advance your argument and B} indicates that you’re only too happy to use dishonesty and hyperbole to try to win your point and that SIR will get you banned from ever posting comments here in the future should you pull that shit again. And that I “Guarantee”.
As I said, you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about if you come at me with over generalizations on a subject that you’ve only read about in books or seen portrayed on tee vee. And if you actually have lived the life of an addict or a drunk then you of all people should know better than to try to “guarantee” that everyone else who uses recreational drugs will come to the same bad end that you did — or start using again as you practically guarantee that I will.
Not all people are alike Tom. Not all people who use drugs are addicts and you’d know that if you actually had any experience with addiction counseling. And if you do have experience with addiction counseling then you must have missed class the day they taught that lesson because your equating people who simply like to use recreational drugs because they find them fun {but who aren’t in any way shape or form clinically addicted to them} with people who are actually addicted to drugs proves my original point — you simply don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.
Oh, and as a side note Tom — you may want to avoid the latest Porn video I just posted. Its of a West Hollywood bareback PnP party and I would hate to think that watching it would force you into yet another clutch the pearls moment of personal angst and discomfort.
Oh, and as a second side note {a side, side note if you will} if in your opinion what I do here is irresponsible — or “lies” as you characterized it — you are more than welcome to piss the fuck off and never return. Because, frankly Tom, it would seem to me that someone who finds my posts and opinions to be irresponsible as you clearly do would be doing nothing more than behaving like an abject hypocrite should he hold that opinion but continue on as a reader and thus, by his repeated presence here, drive my traffic numbers ever higher — and in so doing make me more money from my advertisers.
I think you get my drift, dontcha Tom?
Side, side, side note Tom — I just clicked the link to your blog and I see that my original guess about you was absolutely spot on — you’re a recovering addict and as such you are 100% convinced that everyone else is just like you: in other words, if they use drugs recreationally then they are “guaranteed” to become an addict just like you did and if they become an addict then they will ruin their lives just like you did.
Misery does indeed love company. Unfortunately, in your case at least Tom, the misery seems to have clouded your ability to understand that people are different and not everyone is like you.
October 31st, 2009 at 11:35 am
scott – as i was reading through the exchange with tom my first reaction to his post was “he’s an addict in recovery and not very far into that recovery” addicts freshly into recovery tend to have a very black and white view of addiction and that view of addiction, both theirs and others, is skewed by their own personal experiences. theyre much like people who just found religion and refuse to acknowledge that differing truths exist for different people. and with regard to addiction and drug use they tend to be unwilling to acknowledge that others can actually have not just differing levels of addiction but that there are many people who can use recreational drugs (of any and every type) for an indefinite period of time without ever becoming addicted in the clinical/medical/psychological sense.
now, full disclosure here — i’m a harm reduction counselor in the greater philly metropolitan area so i can say with some degree of confidence that i actually do know what i’m talking about. so when i read what tom has written i see a person without any nuanced view of drug use or addiction and that’s simply because he thinks-as you pointed out scott-that everyone else is just like him.
but in harm reduction we follow the medically acknowledged principals that there are not just levels of addiction but also people who can use drugs and because of a complex multi-faceted combination of things (brain chemistry, psychology and the like) will never become addicted to those drugs. yet for someone like tom to rant against what you’ve written in the post and your comments and to call them lies as he does shows that he is unwilling to accept this fact. he wants everyone to be just like him, an addict who needs to be in complete recovery. unfortunately for people like tom who require a black and white view of the world of their addictions that’s just not how these things work because as you pointed out scott-everyone is different.
October 31st, 2009 at 12:52 pm
THANK YOU scott and especially Philly Dawg for injecting a little much needed reality into this debate! I’m sorry but I am so sick to death of these people like Tom who are in programs for their addictions who insist just like Tom does that everyone who uses drugs or alcohol is just as fucked up and dependent as they are. I remember when a friend first went into AA and he tried to get me to admit to him that I was an alcoholic. I laughed in his face because I dont even like the taste of booze and never have. I might have a beer every six months but thats it! But he based his presumption, not assumption but presumption, on the fact that I went to my brothers wedding and got drunk on four glasses of champagne and made a fool of myself in the process. And then he cut me out of his life because his sponsor told him to. Look I think if programs like AA help people then good for them but with so many of the people that they attract and the fact that the programs themselves teach these people that drug and alcohol use is a zero sum game for every one (which it clearly is not). That he believes this is clearly proven by Tom here who can’t even begin to fathom the possibility that you might not ever have been an addict in the first place Scott and which he demonstrates further by predicting your inevitable relapse. I’m sorry but you just get the sense that people like Tom desperately need to believe that everyone else is just as fucked up as they are. Misery loves company as you say Scott.
October 31st, 2009 at 12:55 pm
UPDATE FROM SCOTT – FLASH — UPDATE — BREAKING NEWS
Tom has been banned from further posting for violating one of the most basic rules of blog commenting — personally insulting the host blogger.
Specifically he called me an asshole {among other nasty, hateful personally offensive, injurious things, all of which made me cry} and although it is probably true that I can be an asshole {as well as all the other awful things he called me — sniff sniff} — you don’t get to call me those things on my own blog and get way with it.
Frankly, given the fact that Tom is a blogger himself you would have thought he’d know better. Although, that having been said, I don’t know if you can actually call someone whose blog gets just 46 hits a day a blogger. More like a hobbiest if you ask me.
Anyway, There is an unwritten blogger rule for comportment when you comment on another blogger’s blog and you yourself are a blogger. Unfortunately Tom being the know-it-all opinionated small dicked junkie twit that he is doesn’t understand how we operate in the real, live, grown-up world of actual blogs with actual traffic — especially when you’re a blogger visiting another blogger’s blog.
In other words Tom, I don’t come into your house and call you names and I don’t expect you to come into mine and call me names.
But since winning the point seems to be all that you care about I don’t expect you to understand, or care about, any of that. Hey! Acting like that is pretty much the definition of “Junkie Behavior” isn’t it Tommy? Petty appropriate of you, no?
In any event, its been fun. Thanks for playing. Oh, and you should give a read to the comment posted earlier by Philly Dawg — he’s seems to have you figured out to the fucking T.
Buh bye Tommy.
October 31st, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Scott this whole Tom thing can be summed up in one sentence: Tom became an addict and fucked up his life and you didn’t and now he’s angry at you.
I mean seriously, for him to suggest that by simply posting a video of someone shooting up and talking truthfully about your life experiences somehow glorifies drug use and is irresponsible and promotes both drug use and addiction is just plain nutso. Tom needs to get a better grip on his own life and his own addictions before he tries to tell others how to live theirs.
October 31st, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I’m w/ tball on this all the way.
October 31st, 2009 at 5:19 pm
wow this comment thread got heated fast. i can see some parts of toms arguments as having some validity, specifically his assertion that drug use can lead to a higher incidence of hiv infection, but he completely misses the point of this post if he thinks its a glorification of drug use. i didn’t see it that way at all and and i doubt most reasonable people will either. and to imply as he does that everyone who uses recreational drugs is an addict demonstrates a woeful and, given the fact that hes an addict himself, a really quite shameful lack of understanding of the subject matter that he’s offering up his opinion on.
thanks for the opportunity to comment.
November 1st, 2009 at 1:04 am
Having only becoming aware of this blog Saturday evening, and as a blog developer have spent the past several hours going through the archives to get a feel of the blog.
Not that Scott needs my defense nor anyone else’s, I’ll put the way I look at my own blogging in order to express my feelings regarding this post and the blog in general which some have taken to task.
I develop and write blogs not for the masses but for like minded folks, be it those who appreciate a wicked dry sense of humor as conveyed on my blog Bitchy Old Queen, or my commentary blog FOCUS which often cuts against the grain of other bloggers who lead the readers like so many sheep. My opinions and sometime comments aren’t always popular, hence I don’t have a far reaching readership. But what I do have is a loyal readership base of like minded readers.
When one has to start writing and publishing a blog for the masses something is lost.
It becomes bland, sterile and just like any other gazillion blogs in the blogosphere regardless of topic or scope. A blog such as Scott or mine at the very least convey an extension of our personality.
In my case were you to meet me on the street and have a five minute conversation with me, you would be reading my blog.
For those who have found faullt with the posting of the video, and some in these comments attacking Scott for his “perceived attitude” regarding things, I ask but one question.
Why are you reading this blog ?
If I were to find any fault with Scott it is this.
Not having a comment moderation in effect to weed out comments which entice back and forth arguments. But having said that, this is his blog, not yours and certainly not mine.
I use comment moderation on all of my blogs, if your comments, good or bad, do not contribute in a forward moving extension of a posting the comments don’t get posted.
I have on some blogs stopped allowing anomymous comments as I feel if you don’t have the balls to back up your comments with an identity, then you comments are not worth reading.
We all blog for different reasons. We all read blogs for different reasons. But at the same time when one has to be so critical as some of the commentors here, I refer back to the question.
Why are you reading this blog ?
November 1st, 2009 at 7:07 am
This posting did get very hot! But I’ve got to say that I fall down squarely behind Scott and the other commenters like Philly Dawg. First I don’t see any glorification here, except maybe on the part of the guy in the video. But posting that here doesn’t mean Scott was glorifying it. He was just posting it for us to see and then make up our own minds about how we should view it. And his description of his past drug use is honest, plain and simple. But Tom seems to have a real problem with that for some reason.
And Tom Tom Tom! If you are indeed in recovery you of all people should know that just because you object to something because it makes you uncomfortable doesn’t mean its in the least bit objectionable to others. The problem with people like you Tom, people who are in recovery and who have zero tolerance for anything drug or alcohol related, is that you think your attitudes about those things are what everyone else should have. And you try to force them on all of us. You think your 100% right about the issue of drugs and for you theres no acknowledging that other peoples opinions carry just as much weight and validity for them as your do for you.
And if you dispute that then you need to read some of your very own words in this thread Tom. You call Scott a liar but he never lied about anything that I can see. You claim that his posting of this is irresponsible and promotes drug use — maybe in you it does Tom. Maybe in someone who can’t resist the lure of it and who needs to stay far away from it. But in the rest of us it has no such effect. It is simply a slice of life that we can watch and take away as much or as little as we wish. And its not Scotts responsibility to worry that maybe just maybe there this guy named Tom out there who can’t bare to see this stuff and might relapse because of it. No that’s your responsibility.
I feel really bad for Tom because as an earlier poster said here, in his obvious desire to push his narrow and crabbed world view and agenda off on the rest of us Toms totally lost sight of what he needs to be doing for himself.
And as Lyndon said in an earlier post her, if you object to so much of this then why are you reading this blog if it bothers you so much? I think the answer to that question will give you a major insight into what your all about Tom. At least I hope that it would.
November 1st, 2009 at 8:49 am
has anyone else noticed tha toms sole critisism here is of what he maintains is a glorification of drug use. but nowhere here does he critisise the fact that the porn that gets posted on this blog is frequently condom-free. i find it curious that tom would rant at scott about drug use glorification and use the (valid) arguemnet that it frequently contributes to increased hiv rates but then he completely and conveniently ignores the videos themself (that i assume hes enjoying) that show unsafe sex.
tom seems to think that everyone who sees drug use like this will go out and become an addict like him. but thats just as riduiculous as saying that everyone who watches a bareback movie is too stupid to know that in real life its not smart to bareback.
does anyone else see the disconnect here in toms argument?
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:04 am
I wanna know what Andy did at his brother’s wedding when he “got drunk on four glasses of champagne and made a fool of myself in the process”.