Hey little sister who's your Superman?


Until you’ve had a bunch of DJs to handle as part of your business you simply have no idea the level of divaness one has to put up with owning a nightclub.

I’ve had DJs who have told me — five minutes before starting their set and with well over 1,000 people in the club — that they simply can’t use the digital mixers that we’ve got at the club and that what they need is a certain brand of rotary mixer that isn’t even made any longer.

We’ve also had one DJ who — as part of his contract rider — insisted upon being taken out to a gourmet dinner by someone from club management, preferably an owner, so that he could be told what a fucking star he was.

We call that “fluffing the talent.”

Then there was the famous Russian chick who kept abusing my lighting tech about his lighting work. And at one point in the middle of her set she actually walked back to the lighting station and tried to take control of my lighting console to show my tech what she wanted — all the while cursing him out in Russian.

Then there was the big name DJ from Berlin. . . . . God!  By the time his set ended I had just one nerve left in my body and he was on it.

Prior to booking a DJ we ask if they have a problem with our recording their set.  Most don’t, but some do.  And the one’s who do we don’t record.

This guy didn’t want to be recorded so we didn’t — but halfway through his set he saw our incredibly expensive digital recorder sitting under the mixer and CDJ stands and he started ripping out wires to the equipment in order to turn off the already turned off recorder.

This while in the middle of his set and a packed dance floor was watching!

When I saw this I hopped into the booth, grabbed him and said,

“If you fuck with any more of my gear again I’m gonna give you a beating that’ll make what the Allies did to your country in World War II look like a fucking tongue bath.”

Anyway — next Friday, Feb. 22nd, we’ve got two absolutely amazing DJ stars lined up to perform together for the very first time ever:  the incomparable Honey Dijon and DJ Little Rock — aka Hot House Brent.

Honey will be an absolute pro, I’m sure.  But if Brent doesn’t throw some sort of hissy fit at some point during the night I’ll be sorely disappointed.


11 Responses to “DIVA DJs”

  1. Jeffrey Says:

    That’s child play. I work in TV Commercial Production and have to deal with celebrity high profile actors/models. As they say you ain’t seen nothing yet. One actress (the ‘IT’ girl of the moment on TV ) would only eat grilled organic free range chicken, no salt, no pepper, no sauce except Bragg Amino Acids and a salad of lettuce, tomatoes and olives. And then proceeds to order Matzo ball soup from Greenblatts. Even the Directors haver riders!

  2. Bill Says:

    Give my love to Pebbles.

  3. Notorious Imp Says:

    I met Honey Dijon recently in the store with Brent. She’s super sweet and easy on the eyes. I had no idea she was a DJ. I just thought she was full time fabulous as her job. I still need to get up to Seattle and see this swanky joint of yours and taste some of this amber gold you call Kentucky Burbon.

    As for Divas, honey, ain’t no diva like a pro-dom!

  4. Will Says:

    The chances are very slim to nil that it will ever happen, but I would just love to be present some time when you completely dismantle someone like that!

  5. Todd in DC Says:

    …I’ll make what the Allies did to your country in WWII seem like a tongue bath

    So stealing that

  6. Bob Says:

    Scott, you must forgive Brent if he has lapses and fits. He was once in a very scary relationship, and experiences devastating flashbacks.

  7. btom89 Says:

    Hey, Scott, who’s the best DJ you’ve dealt with at your club so far, either in terms of disposition/personality and talent? (That can be an either/or or both question.)

  8. Scott Says:

    Great question btom89!

    Well, from our local pool some of the nicest and best are Almond Brown, Karl Kamakahi, Dana Dub, Dave Pezzner, and Brian Lyons. Great guys all of them, and amazing House Music talents. And Dave Pezzner is considered by many to be one of the top DJs in the world.

    From our out of town bookings I’d say some of the memorable performances were Jacques Renault {great guy}, Horse Meat Disco, Jacob Sperber, DJ Pierre, Nina Kraviz {a total bitch!} Mark Farina, Dixon, Chus and Ceballos, Optimo {a six hour long DJ set!} and Mercedes Herrada {a total sweetheart!} I know I’m forgetting some of them.

    Next week we’ve got Honey and Little Rock and the week after we’ve got the legendary Derrick Carter, so all of those bookings should be amazing.

    Orbital was a great DJ set and Phil Hartnoll took me aside when he was done spinning to absolutely rave about the club and its sound system and he said it was probably the best club he’d played in six or seven years. He was tweeting from the DJ booth telling his Twitter followers what an amazing club Q is. He was a sweetheart, but I could barely understand a word out of his mouth.

    Erykah Badu played fucking Michael Jackson {and NOT a good House remix} and was so fucking high she could barely speak. The Cannabanoids were all in tow with her and as soon as they got into the club they all lit up. It took us a week to get the smell of pot out of the place.

  9. CowboyDenver Says:

    After managing Red Rocks Amphitheatre for many years, I came to the conclusion that diva-ness is inversely proportional to talent. The really talented artists let their performances speak for them; they don’t throw hissy fits.

    The pissiest (by FAR) performer I’ve ever dealt with is the “actor” who played C-3-PO in Star Wars. It was all I could do not to slug him.

  10. Brian Says:

    There should be an “Anglie’s List” for DJs.

  11. Damien Oz Says:

    Doesn’t DJ Little Ricks rider cum w a request for both a fluffer AND a willing bubble butt under the decks?

    Oh – and something about Elizabeth Arden cosmetics case?!?!

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