Hey little sister who's your Superman?


Apparently the DoD has decided that if you sit your ass at a nice, safe joystick equipped computer monitor in Virginia — or wherever — and you pilot a flying killer robot ten thousand miles away you deserve a fucking combat medal for your “heroism.”

It’s called the Distinguished Warfare Medal and, if you can believe, it ranks higher than the Bronze Star Medal.


For those of you who don’t know what it might take to receive a Bronze Star — here’s what one guy did to get his:

Audie L. Murphy, 01 692 509, First Lieutenant (then Staff Sergeant), Infantry, Company “B”, 15th Infantry Regiment. For valorous conduct in action against the enemy. On the night of 2 March 1944, on the ANZIO BEACHHEAD in Italy, First Lieutenant MURPHY crept 100 yards over flat, open terrain during a fire fight between his small patrol and a group of Germans, to a point 50 yards from a partly disabled enemy tank. Taking careful aim, he fired several rifle grenades at the tank, hitting and completely destroying it. Then, when a great many enemy machine guns in the sector opened up, he led his men through the bullet swept area to safety.     

Oh, and this Audie Murphy guy?  In addition to the TWO Bronze Stars he managed to collect, he also received three Purple Hearts for wounds in action, the Legion of Merit, two Silver Stars {the nation’s third highest combat decoration}, the Distinguished Service Cross (the nation’s second highest combat decoration}, and The Medal of Honor.

You don’t get a fucking combat medal unless you’re physically engaged with an enemy and present at the fucking actual site of the combat.

This is a disgrace.

10 Responses to “WELL THIS IS BULLSHIT”

  1. calcarl Says:

    “This is a disgrace”

    Wait until they start awarding the Purple Hemorrhoid.

  2. Manny Says:

    I guess the first 3 of these medals are being issued to Rumsfeld, Cheney and “W”. With subsequent medals to Condoleeza, etc…

  3. Bob Says:

    I would be OK with some kind of medal that recognized the skill involved, similar to sharpshooting, but NOT a medal given famous and deserving heroes.
    For those not aware, Audie Murphy became a movie star after the war. http://www.biography.com/people/audie-murphy-9418662

  4. Brian Says:

    Fucking absolutely. A couple years ago I read an article on the Air Force drone pilots assigned to Nellis AFB NV. One spoke of how stressful it was during a sortie for everyone in the room. Oooh the tension! The article was debating, as “real” piloting started taking a back seat to “virtual” piloting could they/should they award a star with Valour for these zoomies. At least this medal by passes that issue. And I think awarding a Bronze or Silver star to a drone pilot would water down further those given decades ago. It’s bad enough they’re giving them out like candy these days but at least the current recipients were in actual danger.
    So in this case I don’t mind a stab at creating something separate but equal (or at least situated in between the bronze and silver start. I guess.

  5. TominSF Says:

    He also became one of the biggest movie stars of his day after the war. And, no I wasn’t alive at the time. Just wanted to call that our.

  6. Damien Oz Says:

    My grandfather – a silver star recipient – is spinning in his grave. …

  7. David B (Syd) Says:

    I have no problem with a “Distinguished Warfare” medal.. but shouldn’t it be issued by Treasury?

  8. JamesR (the other) Says:

    It should look like a Cheeto

  9. Old Salt Says:

    What a crock of shit and that is exactly what that medal is! Only the Air Farce could come up with this. The Purple Dildo Medal is what they should get.

  10. Paul Says:

    Will the 101st Fighting Keyboardists be eligible? I mean they were instrumental in creating the conditions that allowed for these zoomies to do what they do

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