Hey little sister who's your Superman?


Sooooooo after eleven years together I’m now apparently single again. Very much so.

Richard and I split up last week — basically in the middle of the weekend of the grand opening of the club.

Could my timing on these things be any fucking worse?

I’d like to say it was totally amicable and that there was the possibility of reconciliation, but. . . . .

There’s not and it wasn’t.

Anyway, the best advice I got all week was when I jokingly said to someone that I needed to get a replacement BF and he said,

“No, you don’t.  What you need is a dog.”

Truer words were never spoken.

60 Responses to “THE GAY DIVORCEE”

  1. Bob Says:

    . It’s called division of labor.
    Find a dog to kiss
    And a man or 2 to suck and fuck when you’re ready
    Do you still have the phone number of the pitbull lady I sent you last spring?

  2. Manny Says:

    Find peace within yourself and have courage and optimism for your future. You always have had, the recipe doesn’t change.

  3. Greg Says:

    Holy Fuck! Scott, I’m so sorry to hear the news and what shitty timing on Richard’s part! Or maybe not – your new project will be keeping your mind on other matters, and I’m glad that at least 2 of your handsome ex-boyfriends were in town to support you over that weekend.

    I guess it’s time for First Period French now?

  4. Mikey Says:

    Hey Scott

    So sorry.

    I’m with you on the dawgs thang – they love you whatever mood you’re in and irrespective of the shitty day you’ve had and don’t ask of much in return. Go for it!

    Take Good Care and look after yourself. You have so much to give and give so much. Thanks for all you do for your bloggers – it’s the best site, which makes me think, makes me reflect and, perhaps more importantly, makes me laugh.

    Here’s to you and your bright future


  5. Scott Says:

    I do Bob. And the next dog will definitely be a pit puppy.

  6. Jason Says:

    Hate to hear that Scott, but for what it’s worth you did get some fantastic advice. Totally get a pooch and post lots of pics of him or her.

  7. Todd in DC Says:

    Sorry to hear that Scott. 11 years is a long time

    The club will occupy your mind in the short term. And a puppy or two (think brothers) would do your heart some good

    Also, drink beer. It will help

    I went to medical school (for 4 months) so I know what I am talking about

  8. Sean Says:

    So sorry Scott. Didn’t see that coming.
    To quote Ivana in The First Wive’s Club, “Don’t get even, get everything!”

  9. steve Says:

    What to say? All I know of you or your, now, ex-BF is through this blog and, for all that you choose to share with us, that can never give the full picture of you. We are unlikely to meet and the circumstances of you breaking up are really none of my business so I am hardly in a position to offer advice. So I won’t. Breaking up hurts in my experience so I hope you have friends who are there for you now and in the future. And the dog sounds like a good idea!

  10. bill Says:

    Sorry to hear that, Scott. That sucks, 11 years is a long time. Hang in there, Buddy.

  11. Steve Says:

    I am a couple of years older than you.

    I already wake up every morning listening for whatever you have to say (before I check with the boyfriend next to me).

    Weekend apartment in Manhattan.


    Applying for any open positions.

  12. brian london Says:

    Was he jealous?

  13. Ronny Says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that, Scott. :(

  14. Steve G Says:

    Sorry Scott. Puppy first, then some sampling. Lots of sampling.

  15. Jay Says:

    Look at it this way. At least you had someone to break up with. Hugs, and getting the puppy is important.. Check out http://www.bullseyerescue.org/about.htm

  16. Damien Oz Says:

    I’m sorry to year if this Scott.

    Get a dog. Pay attention to your health. Be busy with the club.

    Prayers & blessings mate.


  17. Brian Says:

    Scott – I’m really sorry to read about the break up; it sucks when bad things happen to good people – even worse when it happens to someone deliciously bad. On a more serious note though, you’ll notice none of these comments contain an ounce of pity or attempts to vilify your ex. If he earned your love, then he must have been at some point and in some way a mighty man and clearly a lucky one. And of course the shitty aftershock you’re undoubtedly feeling – that’s the flip side of any man’s capacity to love genuinely and recklessly. Let it be your red badge of courage if you can. And failing that, no one would blame you if you indulged in some top secret time with Karen Carpenter and a bottle of Woodford Reserve.

  18. Gregorio Says:

    I’ve thought about you a lot since hearing this news, it certainly caught me off guard.

    I give you a ton of credit Scott for keeping your heart open to a relationship and what I suspect was 11 years of mostly happy times. I find loving someone to be a mixed blessing, it is wonderful when the relationship works but it is so painful when it doesn’t and/or you part and go seperate ways. Hearing this news about you and Richard has really forced me to look in the mirror and think about what the fuck I am going to do with my own relationship status and if it is worth diving into the water to see what’s out there. Dry land seems the easiest option right now, lol.

    One thing I know for sure, a puppy is in your future and can’t wait until the day it arrives and we get to see photos!

  19. I wont grow up Says:

    So sorry to hear that. A puppy won’t break your heart and they are always there to cheer up the most miserable days without judging you. Good luck, PJ

  20. Jim Says:

    I’m so sorry to read this, Scott. I doubt anything anyone says can make you feel better, so I won’t even try.

  21. Aaron Says:

    I really am sorry. I love your blog. I wish you the best.

  22. Tony Says:

    WOW!!! So very sorry to hear this news. No break up is totally amicable. Maybe on the outside it is, but on the inside of both is a totally different story. 11 years is a long time and a lot of emotion. Get a Pit Pup and give yourself time to heal.
    P.S. I have a new dog finally. He is 1/2 Pit and 1/2 St. Bernard!!! he will be about 200lbs of solid muscle. What a combo!!

  23. JamesR Says:

    Sorry for your trouble, Scott. Get a dog – best advice, really.

  24. Rob in LA Says:

    Take care of yourself Scott! Time to be selfish and a little grumpy! Surround yourself with tolerable people and puppies and life will get better before you know it.

  25. Zack Says:

    As all of us have been there, you know, we know how it feels. Sorry and i’m thinking postive thoughts for you.

  26. from planet Says:

    same here, “sorry to hear…best wishes”

  27. Les Says:

    Hi Scott,

    Well first of all, sorry to hear that you split, but 11 years together is an accomplishment that produced lots of good and bad experiences for both of you – thanks for sharing some of them here with interested strangers like me. Second, I’m sure that the “timing on these things” is due as much to the BF as to you, so don’t put all of the credit or blame onto yourself. During times of heightened emotion and hyper-activity (like you’ve been putting into Q) it’s been my experience that other issues that have been pushed onto a back burner will suddenly boil over and intrude. Finally, I went searching for the story of the Roman General during his triumphant entry into Rome and found
    http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?ThisTooShallPassAway which I hope will offer some consolation in the depths of your affliction, as Lincoln apparently said. Keep living your life at 98% of maximum and thanks again for sharing some of it with us.

  28. Old Salt Says:

    Hell, get 2 dogs and a cat too.

  29. RecoveringTexan Says:

    Wishing you the best. And there ain’t nothing better than a dog….mine is proof. He’s been far better for (and to) me than my ex of similar duration.

  30. Chris J Says:

    So sorry to hear. But life has an interesting way of testing a person’s will – either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once. Been there myself this summer – one week of hell and insanity – some horrible some great (I opened a brand new business venture myself).

    Congrats on the opening of the club! Can’t wait to see pics of your new puppy one day!!

  31. Tim Quebedeaux Says:

    Sorry about this.
    I thought here, you are mingling with celebs, launching this fantastic club, becoming public domain, on top of the world, instead of just mine here first thing every morning.
    Take care, you have a stranger somewhere in France wishing you the best.


    A handsome older man,
    well traveled,
    and wise in the ways of the heart;
    (and not Scott)
    told me this when I was just a teenage boy-

    “If you meet a man with three (or more) dogs,
    he is simply not interested in having a relationship
    with a human”

    If I could get a do over-
    I’d have a house full of dogs
    and a string of fuck buds on the side.

    “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stranger”

    xoxo -P

  33. Obadiah Says:

    May he ever find comparisons of your dedication and loyalty in paler shades, Scott.

  34. TJ Says:

    Fucking bummer. I suspect that there is much to this to which we are not privy. And that’s okay. It’s really none of our business.

    Relationships are hard. For every day I curse my partner of 25 years, there are many more for which I give thanks. The days I curse him, I try to remember the others. It isn’t always easy. Some days, I think about our retirement. Some days, I wonder what a studio would run. And yeah, when we lost our heart patient boy dog two months ago, I was surprised when the loss initially drove us apart rather than pull us together. But stress in relationships doesn’t always make sense.

    Relationships. No guarantees.

    But what could you learn from this? And the question is rhetorical. Again, none of our business. But Ima go with puppy to work this out.

  35. JamesR (the other) Says:

    So sorry, yet also not, in that you had something good but Life happens and if it isn’t what it was, and you aren’t who you were, well, you can’t live a lie. It is what it is, [was] so it’s best to be definite about it.

    (Knowing nothing, of course, about the specifics.) Better to have loved and lost, that way you can love again.

    That gardener you found four posts ago, he would make a good dog walker…

  36. Notorious Imp Says:

    My condolences Scott.
    That said, all those Future ExBoyfriend posts can now be Last Night’s Booty Call posts. You’re kind of a major catch, weather you admit it or not, sexy as all get up and a proud new owner of Seattlelands coolest night club, I’d fuck ya! I agree with your friend, sew some oats for a while and get yourself a Pit or two. Be strong my friend and don’t forget to cry. -S

  37. Erik Says:

    So many people say they are sorry but I suspect that secretly they are popping champagne and this coming weekend you will be VERY popular at the club!

  38. mitch Says:

    fuck that sucks

  39. RG Says:

    So sorry to have read this Scott.

  40. Alan W Says:

    Amor y Paz, bro. Amor y Paz.

  41. Drew Says:

    All I got, is <3 you Scott.

  42. Gordion Knott Says:

    There’s no positive way to spin this, at least in the short term. But kudos to keeping it together and maintaining an even keel during the grand opening. Your mental resilience was tested, and you fucking passed.

  43. dboy Says:

    Noooooo… (You were a bit of a role model Scott, so this is really sad to hear)

  44. Maverick Says:

    Sorry to hear that, Scott. At least yours didn’t go off and get killed before you really had a chance to build a life together. But after following your blog, I must say that you are a real
    high voltage guy with an I.Q. to match. It takes a very special man to live and love a guy of your caliber. You probably just burned him out! A dog or dogs are a good idea along with giving yourself some time to decompress and heal. Your club will keep you busy as it appears to be a rising star of entertainment in Seattle. I wish you all the best in finding a man who can match your intellect, energy, passion and politics. When you do, I’ll wager even he will think, “Damn, I’m in love with a trainload of fireworks!”

  45. Scott Says:

    Great sentiment Maverick. Thanks!

  46. christian Says:

    i am sorrry to hear for the break up but when a door is closed a window opens…keep busy and your eyes wide open…..as some one said you are a trainload of fireworks …hope you find someone to lit those fireworks

  47. Skylar Says:

    Sorry to hear about this Scott. I hope you remember that you are loved no matter what you might be feeling right now. I think the puppy idea is a great one. Good luck on the club. I look forward to visiting. Soon. Take care of yourself.

  48. btom89 Says:

    Were your past breakups less than amicable? Because it seems like you have good friendly relationships with your exes these days. I’d think and hope you and Richard would reach a place like that someday.
    Hope your heartbreak eases some day soon.

  49. Wayne in Ketucky Says:

    We are not privy to your relationship, the real one. But I’m betting that Richard, being of the genre that can control what he controls on a daily basis (business wise) and love you at the same time, might not be able to handle your success. It puts you up, popular and sought after. If you flirt and carry on, in the name of business, Richard doesn’t understand your business. Just my take on it and it could be WAY off base! And the other side of that might be that Richard wanted you to be sailing on your own, before leaving. Who the hell knows? Certainly, not US that glory in your blog every day! Just know that I (WE) love and support you. Get that rescue(s). nail some really hot stuff, make Q into THE place to be (as if it isn’t already!). Welcome to your life, dude. We love ‘ya!

  50. brandon Says:

    Wow, sorry Scott. I was shocked to read that. Best wishes!

  51. BeauMec Says:

    What a bummer, like christian’s saying – closing a door, opens a window. (or a Mac)
    I had not known of the break-up when I sent you two photos of guys and dogs.
    I agree, get a dog first, then a few beers, (good ones only) then the boys/whatever…..

  52. mg skene Says:

    I check in with you daily and was really sorry to read this post. You seem to be friends with most if not all of your ex’s, so maybe someday…

    Soundcloud/Barbra Streisand/Try To Win A Freind

  53. TonkaManOR Says:

    hmmm, something is not quite right here……. what’s the whole story.

  54. Mike Says:

    Stories like this, even about people I don’t know personally, always make me sad.
    My advice, for what it is worth, is: with the club, you have enough going on at present. Don’t rush into new commitments (and that includes dogs) until you have had a chance to think things over.
    Wishing you (and Richard as well) all the very best for the future.

  55. Speedsausage Says:

    I can’t be sympathetic… As much as the majority is. Divorce sucks but you reap what we sow.

  56. Scott Says:

    Speedsausage — you can’t be sympathetic because you’re clearly a fucking asshole.

    You don’t know fuck-all about what transpired between me and the ex, but you seem to presume you know that I’m reaping what I’ve sowed in spite of your obvious and abject ignorance.

    That, to me, spells asshole in the first degree.

    Also, too: grammar? “YOU reap what WE sow.”


    Not only are you an asshole, but you’re also fucking illiterate.

    But thanks for playing just the same. Now buh bye.

    PS — Your screen name totally identifies you as a douchebag — just sayin’.

  57. KJ Says:

    I am very sorry to hear that Scott. The temptation to engage in intense self-examination following such events can weigh on one’s constitution. In many instances, one must simply accept the circumstances in a manner of serenity that can maintain a forward-looking clarity. There is a certain part of us that yearns for acknowledgement of our pain caused by others, but in these modern times, the expectation that another can alter their behaviour to bring closure is tumultuous as it is self-negating. I know from experience the perpetual hope that finally others will bring themselves to the carpet as they have you is a fleeting one. All I can say is that the best form of closure is the one in which you do on your own personal terms. Your club with give you the chance to revitalize yourself, so I have no doubt you will bounce back.

  58. Patrick Says:

    sorry to hear this ! but at least you’ve made it that long ! 9 years more than I ever have !
    wish you both the best, and hope when the dust settles, you remain friends.

  59. Rich Says:

    Hate to rain on the sycophants’ parade, but having been in a 12 year relationship that finally imploded and having been around the block a few times, these things are never a one-way street. Richard just doesn’t have the luxury of a blog and a dedicated following.

  60. Scott Says:

    You’re right Rich — Richard doesn’t have the luxury of a blog or a dedicated following and these things are never a one way street. Except in this case I think the King County Washington Prosecutors office might very well disagree with you and say that you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about — which you clearly don’t.

Leave a Reply

Turn on pictures to see the captcha *