But while I’m on the Paralympics, can you exercise your god-like powers and tell NBC to fucking cover the damn things? The US has some superb athletes competing and they’re getting fuck all in terms of public approbation. Dunno what the percentages are, but a substantial number of the American team come from the armed forces who’ve been horribly maimed in service of their country and are now representing the USA at the highest level they are capable off, but they get no love from their own country.

In London we’ve sold about two and a half million tickets to the Paralympics – please note SOLD, not given away – because the Paralympics are just as exciting and enthralling as the Olympics to the UK, European and actually quite a few other nations. But in the US, the massive success of US Paralympians seems to be a guilty secret.

Also, to be intensely shallow, many Paralympians are incredibly hot. They might have lost a lower leg or have a withered arm or be blind, but that has in no way prevented them from having bodies that’d make the US, UK and – especially – the French gymnastic Olympic teams as jealous as all fuck.

I trust you, Mr Smith, to rectify this failing in your national psyche. And if you can’t,send me a crate of your vodka as penance.

I’m now going to do a smiley face emoticon because I’ve finished half a bottle of wine since starting and finishing this comment and, frankly, I don’t give a sentimental fuck. Also, I’d probably lick your ear as I hugged you.

as Napoleon once said, “l’audace, l’audace, toujours l’audace.”