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YOU FUCKING TEXANS ARE INSANE!

Sooooo in case anyone missed it yesterday, Texas is about to send to the United States Senate a man who actually managed to run to the right of Governor Goodhair.

Ted Cruz just won a runoff election against ultra-conservative Governor Perry’s handpicked candidate, David Dewhurst — a man who also happens to be the sitting Lieutenant Governor of the state — by running as an EVEN MORE CONSERVATIVE CANDIDATE.

This was the guy Rand Paul and Sahria Plain Sarah Palin came to Texas to campaign for because he’s actually crazier and stupider than they are.

Cruz is a far right lunatic who believes that Sharia Law is an enormous problem in the U.S. and is also an outright nullifier, believing that the individual states have the right under the Constitution to nullify federal laws that they don’t agree with.

Which of course those of you who took history lessons in grade school will recall was one of the reasons we fought a civil war over — a war that took 600,000 American lives.

Cruz also believes that George Soros is behind a secret United Nations plot to eliminate the game of golf.

And this is the guy that Texans feel will make the best representative for them in the United States Senate.

And he’s gonna go the U.S. Senate in November because in the cloud cuckoo land that Texas has become there is simply no possible way for Cruz’ Democratic opponent to beat him come November.

Seriously Texas, you guys really should secede from the Union.

It’d make a bunch of shithouse rat crazy Texans happy {until you turned your new nation into Myanmar and we had to build a fence to keep you fucking imbeciles out of America} and it would be absolutely great for the rest of us.

Because we’d finally be shed of you preening, narcissistic completely bugfuck insane Texas twatwaffles once and for all.

And for those of you Longhorns who intend to take deep and abiding umbrage at how I’ve characterized you and your state, you can never again take me to task for the public contempt that I show toward all things Texas.

Because I have just three words for you . . . .

Ted fucking Cruz

‘Nuff said.

20 Responses to “YOU FUCKING TEXANS ARE INSANE!”

  1. BeauMec Says:

    Scott,

    Why give those from Tex-ass the ‘privilege’ or ‘right’ to ‘secede’ from the US of A?
    Why don’t we simply expel that state?

    BeauMec

  2. Gene Says:

    You should have been here to witness the whole thing. I’m on a diet of pepto just to get over it. The alternative, Dew, is just a crazy though. His last ad told us how our border was overrun not with illegal aliens but with gangs of international thugs and chinese and he could shut it down because he served in the CIA!

    And BTW: It’s not just TX. Everything between NYC and the West coast is in the same boat.

    Thank you “No Child Left Behind.”

  3. Rob in LA Says:

    Texas can take the rest of the South with it, except parts of Florida. Nothing but a bunch of batshit crazy religious whacko’s. I know some normal people that moved to Texas for jobs, but even they have become crazy in time. I don’t get it, maybe it’s just easier to ignore the crazy people when you are outnumbered and they are heavily armed.

  4. Michael Says:

    On Rachel Maddow last night, her guest disclosed that in Travis County alone there are over 600,000 eligible voters who choose not to register to vote, leaving the remaining 450,000 (minus the less than 18 age group) to decide the election.

    If these people do not care enough to vote, I do not think there is anything else we can do to help them.

  5. Scott Says:

    Actually Michael there is something we can do to help — and BeauMec in the comments earlier has the perfect solution — throw their fucking state out of the country.

  6. Michael Says:

    As my father is buried in Texas, who died prematurely due to inadequate access to health care, I wouldn’t have any problem with that.

    Just pulled the Travis County, Texas voter statistics. Rachel’s guest must have referred to the Austin Metro area for his quote on voter registration, but the official statistics on this primary election and other Texas State constitutional amendments elections were shocking. Things (at least in the Texas Capital area) are being decided with 8% of eligible voters voting. Absolutely pathetic.

    http://www.traviscountytax.org/pdfs/2012VoterTurnoutReport.pdf

  7. Mark Says:

    they have been cracy for some time. I don’t know if Texas has more to answer for “W” or Ted Cruz.

  8. Bob Says:

    Michael, assuming that figure is true: the State is 38% Hispanic, 12% Black.The “why bother, we have no power” thing among minority potential voters is strong in a place like Texass where the White repugnicans have everything sewn up. There ARE some hispanic repugs, and I assume they voted for Cruz in the primary.
    I read where Hispanics will be the majority of eligible voters in Texass in 8 years, but will they be encouraged to vote?
    I always say “There is nothing wrong with Texas, other than the weather and the people”
    Scott — good idea! Let’s give the fucking hellhole back to Mexico, but keep the oil rights.

  9. Laura Says:

    Gotta disagree with you about Florida Rob, from someone who lived there for 24 years. This is the state that gave us George Bush in 2000, Allen West and Rick Scott. They should just saw it off at the state line, give it a shove due east and let the whole thing sink into the Atlantic.

  10. Gene Says:

    I forgot to add: those same people (term used loosely) turned out in droves today at their local Chic Filth restaurant to support church sponsored bigotry!

    RE: Maddow- I wonder how many of those voters are Dems. Elections here are so rigged and the districts so gerrymandered by DeLay and gang that any Dem representation is virtually impossible. I kind of understand the futility of registering. I think the only way out is for the Dem national committee to step up and go to war to take the state back.

    As for secession, the problem would be the boundary. East and North are both “friendly.”

  11. Manny Says:

    Mexican-Americans are loath to vote and it shows in who runs Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, etc. Hispanic friends tell me that there is a “who does he/she think they are? Better than me?” So the Mormon legislators & businessmen run AZ, like most states bordering Utah. The “Anglos” run NM as local Hispanics will complain but do little to change. And the bat-shit crazy Baptist No-Nothings run Texas and keep the Poor brown, black, red and white in their place(under their heels.)

  12. Michael Says:

    Bob, sounds like the United States will get to experience “modern day feudalism” in Texas fairly soon. I’m sure other Red states will be right behind them.

    1 in 4 uninsured, extreme income inequality, vast amounts of the state’s wealth in the hands of the few. Guns all around. And water just became a very precious natural resource.

    I assume additional voter restriction laws will be enacted a la “Juan Crow” so those pesky brown people won’t get the itch to fully participate in democracy.

    What’s the mechanism for black balling a state out of the Union again?

  13. Bill in Oklahoma Says:

    Since I happen to be stuck in Oklahoma I agree with all of the above. Just give me time to relocate to some place that has some sane human beings because the state of Oklahoma is following right along with Texas….so if Texas goes let Oklahoma go with it! That’s what I say! I’m in a land of idiots….someone please help!

  14. Kiwi Says:

    And just to prove that insanity really is communicable:

    Cruz met his wife while working on the George W. Bush presidential campaign of 2000. Cruz’s wife works for Goldman Sachs.

    Get out the pikes and guillotines.

  15. paul Says:

    I voted in the Dem primary so I was ineligible to vote in the Republican run-off. Lots and lots of commercials and between the two, Cruz seemed to be a bit less insane.

    Oh, don’t blame Texas for Bush. There’s folks in 49 other states that voted for the beady eyed idiot.

  16. Todd in DC Says:

    So it’s agreed. We give Texas back to Mexico. Umm, we may need to sweeten the deal, though. Any ideas?

  17. Craig Says:

    You never know…maybe he’ll be stupid enough to be this election cycle’s Christine O’Donnell, Sharon Angle and/or Ken Buck. Plus don’t discount the racism of Texas Republicans in the fall. In the fall general election you have lots of ignorant, racist, know-nothing Republicans with an irrational fear of “Mesicans” (and by “Mesicans” I mean Hispanics). Cruz wouldn’t be the first Hispanic Republican to lose an election for having a Hispanic surname when his opponent has an Anglo one.

    Two years ago, Texas Republicans booted a well qualified incumbent Republican Hispanic with a law degree and a geology degree off the Texas Railroad Commission (which ought to be named the Texas Oil and Gas Industry Regulatory Commission because that’s what it does) in favor of an Anglo accountant whose experience in the oil and gas industry, according to his own campaign website, boiled down to a very Palin-esque “I can see oil derricks from my house.”

  18. Laura Says:

    Todd,

    As a bonus, we’ll throw in Arizona!

  19. Drew Says:

    Laura- YES. I agree. Born & raised in FL for 24 years as well. The entire state is fucking nuts. The north & panhandle are basically extensions of reconstruction era attitudes from Georgia, Alabama, & Mississippi. The central part is tourists, suburban sprawl, & crazed snow birds. The south is made up of the same as the central plus crazy swamp people, preening narcissistic queens whose idea of currents events are what’s on Bravo, & Cuban immigrants who consistently vote against their own interests because GAYS! & ABORTIONS!

  20. Russ Says:

    Not all of us who live in Texas are batshit crazy or assholes. Some of us were born here and are Democrats, Independents and are intelligent. Believe it or not.

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